Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 26/01/2000

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Wednesday January 26, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down!]

Since the election of this Hard Labour/Alliance Retard regime the country's descent into hell in a handcart has accelerated, with higher taxes, more regulation & more Political Correctness. The daily headlines have become more unendurable. So I thought today I'd make up my own. What might our daily news fare consist of if the sheeple suddenly started using their long-dormant brains & politicians & bureaucrats suddenly became public servants? Quite different, I fancy!

Item: "Prime Minister Helen Clark has abandoned her plans to set up a new cabinet committee to close the widening social & economic gaps between the races. She says she has come to realise that the more taxpayer money that has been thrown at Maori the worse their condition has become, that they must stop living in the past, stop surrendering their minds to tribalism, stop lodging ridiculous claims & stop using their skin colour as an excuse for larceny, failure & the obstruction of historic statues. Accordingly, she says, all officially-sanctioned preferential treatment for Maori will cease, the Waitangi Tribunal will be abolished & Te Puni Kokiri will be disestablished after despatching a final memorandum to all iwi saying, 'Get A Life.'"

Item: "Social Welfare Minister Steve Maharey says he won't be convening any more five hour-long meetings of welfare lobby groups to discuss what to call beneficiaries. Mr Maharey said he knows what to call them, since he's one himself: 'state tit-suckers,' & he won't waste any further taxpayer money on huis for state tit-suckers. Mr Maharey says instead, he will abolish himself, dynamite WINZ & give all the money back."

Item: "Women's Affairs Minister Laila Harre says she won't establish a new bureaucracy to snoop on employers after all & she will completely ignore the briefing papers from her Ministry on the subject. 'Bossing bosses is unfair,' she acknowledges. 'They create the jobs; let them employ whom they will. It's none of my business. I'm outta here - & so is my Ministry. We'll all go get real jobs, do our bit for women in the workplace that way - if anyone will have us.'"

Item: "Environment Minister Sandra Lee says she will no longer tolerate violations of private property rights under District Plans drawn up by local bodies under the Resource Management Act. 'People should be able to do what they like on their own property,' she says, 'as long as they don't damage anyone else's. Now you can't even mow your lawns without permission. Tomorrow at dawn, the Act will be ceremonially shredded & everyone involved in writing & implementing it will be shot. These will be bloodless executions, since none of those planners, politicians, & consultants HAS any blood.'"

Item: "Minister of Economic Development Jim Anderton says creating his post was a really dumb idea. 'Create jobs?' he says. 'More jobs for power-freak bureaucrats, certainly, but fewer real jobs in the real economy. All the money spent on my new Ministry would be better left in taxpayers' pockets. After all, it's theirs.' Treasurer Michael Cullen agrees, saying 'What the hell would I know about business & jobs apart from obstructing them? I've had an epiphany. Yes, an epiphany! (They don't call me DOCTOR Michael Cullen for nothing.) From now on the country is a tax haven. No tax at all except a 5% GST to run the government with until such time as the sheeple grow up. It would have been six per cent so we could keep paying Peter Doone's salary in his new Maori Crime job, but as you know the Prime Minister has dumped apartheid so she's had to dump Peter too.'"

Item: "Sheeple grow up! Full freedom reclaimed!"

Item: "Lindsay Perigo arrested for broadcasting seditious dream."

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