Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 20/03/2000

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, KAYA ORAAAA & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Monday March 20, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit & excellence against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down!]

I began Friday's programme on a note of optimism, reassuring a disconsolate e-mailer that all was not yet lost in the Democratic People's Republic of Aotearoa. Today I have to admit that my optimism took a knock over the weekend, first on Saturday when I read page after page of sycophantic eulogies to the new communist regime in the Weekend Daily Marxist, marking the first one hundred days of the slide into tribalistic barbarism, & then yesterday when I read the editorial in the Sunday Star-Times, which, like the Herald, is nothing but a propaganda mouthpiece for the Labour/Alliance dictatorship. "The tobacco industry is a major force for evil," thundered the Star-Slimes, "& the government must attack it. It should look very seriously at suing the cigarette companies. The companies sell death & disease & misery, & they know exactly what they are doing. Governments have a moral duty to try to destroy them. ... The government must increase tobacco taxes in its June budget, & each year after that." The Star-Slimes goes on to savour the prospect of the tax component driving up the price of cigarettes to $10 a packet, at which point, it claims, "experts calculate that consumption is likely to fall," testing the government's willingness to endure a drop-off in tax revenue for the sake of its jihad against smoking.

How unspeakably disgusting - disgusting that a member of the Fourth Estate, supposed bulwark of our liberties, should be arguing in this vein, & disgusting that there's every indication that our authoritarian regime will do exactly as the Star-Slimes urges, with Great Leader Helen Il-Clark having openly suggested she might change the law so as to guarantee success for any forthcoming government lawsuit.

The proposition that the government has a "moral duty" to destroy an industry that legally purveys a legal product to consenting adults is grotesque. Whom will the government have a moral duty to destroy NEXT week, one wonders - the dairy & meat industries? Equally, the idea that saddling the product with sky-high taxes will cause consumption to fall is nonsensical. All that will happen is a thriving black market & grow-your-own projects. The plain, simple fact of the matter, you see, is that smoking gives people pleasure & reassurance. In prisons, tobacco is a staple source of solace for the inmates. In the vast prison camp that this dictatorship is turning the country into, such solace will be more & more widely sought, however viciously the Molesworth Mafia tax it.

I spit in the face of this evil dictatorship & its sycophantic apologists in the media with the following eulogy to tobacco by Robert Green Ingersoll:

"These leaves make friends, & celebrate with gentle rites the vows of peace. They have given consolation to the world. They are the companions of the lonely - the friends of the imprisoned, of the exile, of workers in mines, of fellers of forests, of sailors on the desolate seas. They are the givers of strength & calm to the vexed & wearied minds of those who build with thought & dream the temples of the soul. They tell of hope & rest. They smooth the wrinkled brows of pain - drive fears & strange mis-shapen dreads from out the mind & fill the heart with rest & peace. Within their magic warp & woof some potent, gracious spell imprisoned lies, that, when released by fire, doth softly steal within the fortress of the brain & bind in sleep the captured sentinels of care & grief. These leaves are the friends of the fireside, & their smoke, like incense, rises from myriads of happy homes."

Politically Incorrect Show, beating the bastards back ... 309 3099.

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