Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 01/05/2000

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, KAYA ORAAAA & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Monday May 1 , proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit & excellence against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down]

Yesterday, as is my wont on a Sunday morning, I went to the gym. Walking down Grey's Avenue, where the YMCA fitness centre is located, I was aware of a car pulling up & a thin, middle-aged man wearing a back-pack getting out. Walking ahead of me, he entered the gym directly through a side entrance. I went in via the reception area a little further on & proceeded to the changing rooms, to find the same man just arriving there also, via the gym. I slung my shirt on a hanger, leaving my T-shirt on, changed into some shorts, went through to the gym & commenced my workout. A little while later, the other gentleman emerged from the changing area, walked right across the gym & out via the same side-door whence he'd entered. "Odd," I thought. "Wonder why he's not doing a work-out? Perhaps he came in just for a sauna. But he hasn't been here long enough for that. Maybe they didn't switch the sauna on today - they often don't on a Sunday. Must speak to them about that!"

A couple of exercises later, a light bulb flashed in my head. "My God! That guy was a thief. He came in to steal. And wasn't my credit card in my shirt pocket?" I rushed to check - no credit card! But then, some cash in my jeans pockets was undisturbed. "Hmmm," I thought, "I'm being paranoid. The card is probably in my wallet at home." I discussed my concern briefly with the only other person working out at the time, quickly finished my routine & returned home. No, the card was not in my wallet, nor in any other likely place. I rang Westpac Trust's Customer Services to report the likely theft. They tapped into their computers, & lo! Mr Light Fingers had wasted no time - there had been nine transactions in the last hour or so to the tune of around two thousand dollars!

Naturally I've had occasion to reflect on my stupidity in leaving my valuables so readily accessible. But I've also reflected how this creature's conduct merely mirrors that of the government, which helps itself to a third of my earnings every fortnight. As my now-infamous Alliance Retard candidate correspondent would say, "It's not your money, it's everybody's money. It's not your credit card, it's everybody's credit card." My robber was simply putting into practice the philosophy of our government & emulating its example. The only difference is that the government does it lawfully; morally, there is no distinction to be drawn. With the bounty from his spree, my robber no doubt satisfied many of his "needs" - precisely the outcome the government claims to be seeking when it perpetrates ITS theft. It also claims to spend part of ITS loot on protecting us from the unlawful theft of my robber's variety - while latest statistics confirm that nine tenths of such crimes go unsolved. The government would prefer its police force to be chasing marijuana smokers & pulling over harmless motorists to see if they are carrying their ID cards.

As I strolled home from filling out a report for said police, I saw one of the regular K-Rd street vagrants soliciting money & cigarettes from passers-by. "God," I thought, "it's everywhere, this mentality. But at least," I mused, "this woman has the grace & decency to ask politely, unlike the government, which demands at gunpoint, & unlike that other object of my involuntary charity this morning."

Oh well, I did get something out of this unfortunate experience - an editorial!

Politically Incorrect Show ... upholding that seemingly most unfashionable of concepts: private property! 309 3099

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