Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 05/05/2000

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, KAYA ORAAAA & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Friday May 5, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit & excellence against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down]

Caller Merv on Wednesday said he was worried about all my talk about freedom - that there was already too much of it & what the country needed was a dictator. He added that while Hitler got a few things wrong, he was on the right track - he brought people together [in concentration camps] & gave Germans a sense of national mission. The scary thing is that a lot of people think like Merv, which probably accounts for the popularity of the present ultra-authoritarian government. It occurred to me that a power-crazy demagogue like Hitler could achieve his ambition here quite easily by founding a political party espousing the following policies, there being such a ready constituency for them:

1) Universal compulsory military training for two years for all citizens, male & female, when they reach eighteen. This to be the final touch in instilling discipline, conformity, obedience, & the realisation that one belongs to the state.

2) The abolition of all last remaining vestiges of private education. All children to be placed in state learning centres from the age of three. Every day to begin with the recital of a Pledge of Allegiance to the Motherland & its Great Leader, the raising of the new flag & singing of the new National Anthem. All children throughout the Motherland to wear identical uniforms. The reintroduction & vigorous imposition of flogging.

3) Reintroduction of the death penalty, to be mandatory not just for murder but for drug-dealing, sodomy, black marketeering & the expression of ideas contrary to the interests of the Motherland.

4) The recriminalisation of homosexuality, with the death penalty for the ultimate act, as above. It was the legalisation of faggotry that led to our present moral collapse.

5) The pursuit of economic self-sufficiency through the banning of imports. All economic activity to be planned & implemented by a central Ministry for Economic Development [oops!].

6) The renationalisation of Telecom, Air New Zealand & Transrail & the banning of their competitors & confiscation of their assets. The same for New Zealand Post's & Television & Radio New Zealand's competitors & all multinational companies operating here. Internet access to be strictly controlled - special licenses with stringent conditions attached to be introduced.

7) A flat tax of fifty cents in the dollar on all personal earnings so that all citizens are made to contribute an equal portion of their earnings to the common good. The confiscation of all personal wealth over $100,000, should anyone manage to accumulate it, to discourage selfishness.

8) The confinement of all Asians to work camps. They have corrupted the Motherland's venerable egalitarian tradition by encouraging individual effort & the expectation of personal financial reward for that effort. They must now be put to work for the greater good of society.

Well, I didn't quite get to concoct a TEN-point programme, but eight'll do for starters. I wouldn't expect a party campaigning on such a platform to win an outright majority, but it could well win a plurality, whereupon the lesser demagogues already there would fall over themselves to go into coalition.

Fanciful? Perhaps. But think of how popular SOME of these proposals would be right now. Why wouldn't their supporters buy the whole package? Moreover, every time I get a caller like Merv, I'm reminded how thin is the veneer of what remains of our civilisation. The drooling beast lurks, awaiting its moment.

Politically Incorrect Show, where the price of liberty is eternal paranoia. 309 3099.

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