Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 09/05/2000

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, KAYA ORAAAA & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Tuesday May 9, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit & excellence against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

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One of the interesting things about sitting in this chair is the unsolicited advice I get from listeners as to how I could do the job better. I received one such e-mail yesterday:

'Hey, Linz. Why don't you confront people when they use wishy-washy weasel words like "Maori" and "pakeha", especially in tandem eg "We must move forward as a nation, Maori and pakeha", together? First, it enforces the myth there are two distinct, separate, homogeneous "races" in New Zealand, which is complete crap. We've had 200 years of race mixing, with a minority or slight majority of Maoris being full-blooded. What about the Pacific Islanders, Indians and Asians, especially the Chinese who have been here for generations?'

I wonder what my correspondent thinks is the point of my term "pseudo-mordi"? Or how many more occasions, since there have been many, when I upset kaumatua it will take to satisfy him that I have a low threshold for their bullshit?

'Second, why is pakeha always spelt with a small "p"? Who is being disrespectful to whom?'

A valid, but small point. Frankly, who cares? I certainly don't.

'Third, why is it if you're three-quarters Maori, you're Maori, but if you're three-quarter non-Maori, you're STILL considered legally Maori?'

Actually, it's worse than that. It's sufficient to say you "feel" like a Maori to become one legally. But I've long since lost count of how many times I've pointed that out.

'Fourth, that guy who rang before 1pm, talking about "hapu", "kaumatua" etc co-operating with the police to help "our" young people. Maori youth aren't "owned" by Maoridom and isn't concentrating on Maori youth racist? Would Maori elders step over the comatose body of a young, homeless glue-sniffer, if she was white?'

Kaumatua can help anyone they like. The purpose of this programme is to uphold everyone's freedom of choice. I object only if I'm made to pay for other people's choices.

'Fifth, is there really such a thing as a Maori race at all? I've raised this before - if pakeha are considered "overstayers" by some Mordi, then Maoris are just Polynesian overstayers. Considering the first mass immigration was around 1200, 800 years isn't enough for humans to biologically or genetically differentiate into a seperate race, unlike, say, Australian Aborigines.'

This is an issue I make a point of avoiding, because again, I couldn't care less. I'm aiming for a time when no one else could either, where we all respect each other as sovereign individuals regardless of ethnic background. As it is, too many people are corrupting legitimate frustration at the pseudo-mordi racket with blanket, racist animosity towards ALL Maoris.

'Sixth, Maoris never traditionally owned land for long - it was invaded and confiscated by force. They can't really sue the government for compensation when they were only beaten at their own game. Maoris never settled land disputes by establishing an independent tribunal - they annihilated the opposition and took their land for themselves.'

True - & a point I have made & repeated to the stage of tedium. Few have opposed the pseudo-mordi gravy-train, or demanded that it be stopped in its tracks, more vociferously than I.

'I could go on, but you get the point. And the thing is, Linz, you KNOW all this. Next time you get some well-meaning but deluded Maori or non-Maori on the line spouting this sort of verbal flimflam, get stuck in. Be your show's namesake - politically incorrect.'

Well, I could have gone on yesterday, too, but the news was coming up. I can't say everything I would like to say - & have said before - on every occasion to every caller. And I certainly don't need advice as to how to be politically incorrect. To the profferer of this unsolicited lecture I say, next time you get the urge to instruct me, go take a cold shower. Or if you want to join the fray, call up! One thing I'll say for Te Kaumatua - they're not backward in coming forward when I offend them.

Politically Incorrect Show, getting stuck in to presumptuous nonsense wherever it comes from ... 309 3099

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