The Politically Incorrect Show - 21/07/2000
[Music - Die Fledermaus]
Good afternoon, KAYA ORAAAA & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Friday July 21, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit & excellence against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.
[Music up, music down]
Thank Heaven for small mercies is all I can say, having had a chance to look at some of the details of the Heart of the Nation report into the arts of the nation. A panel of poseurs was paid $220,000 of our money by our socialist regime to prepare 450 pages of drivel. Even the regime has repudiated it - which is why I'm thankful, though ever-mindful that the thing should never have been commissioned in the first place.
What a godsend implementation of the report would be for the Aotearoa arty-farties! New bureaucracies coming out our ears, stealing from our pockets, to promote primitive savagery & "haunting, provocative & powerful" displays of stained blankets. A "culture tree" would be planted with bureaucratic branches spreading out in all directions. Our Great Leader & Commissar of Culture would get an arts policy specialist in her department. The culture & heritage budget would be controlled by two Associate- Commissars of Culture, one overseeing pseudo-Mordi art, the other everything else. The pseudo-Mordi Associate-Commissar would take charge of Te Mangai Paho (the pseudo-Mordi adjunct to NaZis On Air), Te Waka Toi (the pseudo-Mordi adjunct to Creative New Zealand) & other pseudo-Mordi scams, while the other Associate-Commissar would have jurisdiction over Te Papa, Te Symphony Orchestra & Te Film Archive. Creative New Zealand would be disestablished - good! - but replaced by THREE new agencies - very, very, very bad!!: a Creative Resources Foundation to dole out grants with our money, a Creative Industries Development Agency that would provide a "strategic overview" of the arts & farts, & a Cultural Management & Resource Centre that would "monitor the performance" of said arts & farts. As if that's not enough, a FOURTH new agency, the Heritage Commission, would be set up to "develop & market a national portfolio of heritage products" - i.e. to sell whalebones & grass skirts.
Needless to say, the poseurs at Creative New Zealand didn't take kindly to the idea of being disestablished, so have been taking pot shots at the poseurs who suggested it. Let them scratch each other's eyes out, I say. Our Great Leader & her current Associate-Commissar of Culture, meanwhile, have trashed the report, partly because it would cost millions to implement. Again I say, thank Heaven - & they should never have commissioned the damn thing to begin with. If they want art of true merit to flourish, they should disestablish themselves & leave artists alone, to stand or fall in a free marketplace rather than flourish artificially with stolen money.
As the panel of poseurs struts off into pouting ignominy - though not without a generous helping of said stolen money - let us enjoy some delicious derision - haunting, provocative & powerful - of their vainglorious nonsense.
MAD LAUGHTER AWARD.
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