Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 16/08/2000

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, KAYA ORAAAA & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Wednesday August 16, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit & excellence against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down]

The problem with satire, I have concluded, is that sooner or later it comes to pass. Remember how I posited the outlawing of discrimination based on "lookism," only to have Phillida Bunkle seriously propose such a thing a few weeks later? Remember the story by Carl Wyant, star of yesterday's editorial, about Jimmy Brown & his humble lemonade stand, where little Jimmy ended up in jail for failure to pay his taxes after being unable to meet sundry bureaucratic compliance costs? Now let me quote from an article by Jerry Brito on the web site. This, note, is about real life:

"Last Month, Colorado resident Caitlin Rezac displayed an utter disregard for her community's health and safety. Boulder County health officials shut down her illegal business because her establishment had neither a $110 health license nor a sink. Nicknamed "Soda Girl," and wearing an apron displaying that name, 11-year-old Rezac had the temerity to open a curbside lemonade stand. Luckily, her father has since paid for the health license and a local sink manufacturer made her the present of a portable garden hose sink.

"Last week, similar trouble arose when 9-year-old Rachel Caine of Eustius, Florida also had to be shut down by local authorities after years of selling lemonade across the street from her house. After her father got involved, city officials did not press the matter, but issued a new regulation that makes Caine measure eight feet from the curb before she sets up her stand. Her 11-year-old brother's lawn mowing business may also come under investigation.

"These outlaw kids could easily have avoided getting into trouble, if only they had visited some of the fun and friendly Web sites the government has set up just for kids. One of these,, has exciting step-by-step guides for starting your own business, including lawn mowing services and lemonade stands.

"The site is part of the federal government's Simplified Tax and Wage Reporting System Web site that makes it 'easier' for businesses to pay all their taxes in one place. The STAWRS Kids section is colorful and fun. Clicking on Start Your Own Business lets you choose what kind of enterprise you're interested in.

"Choosing 'Lemonade Stand' brings pictures of happy kids making lemonade, selling it, making a profit, and hiring some extra help. Then the fun begins! 'Wonderful!' the site announces, 'now you have an employee and you need to ask the IRS for an Employee Identification Number (EIN).' It then goes to show you neat rows of the colorful and fun-filled forms you will have to fill out, including the SS-4, the 941, the W-3, the ever-popular 4070, and many more!"

And on the article goes, providing links to other government department sites rife with the most fearful busybody bilge. Whatever happened to Jefferson's vision of a wise & frugal government that left its citizens alone to get on with it? Perhaps there were too many satirists spoofing each departure from that vision, putting new ideas in the heads of the bureaucratic backsliders?

Yep, I think I'll give satire a miss from now on.

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