Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 01/03/2001

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Thursday March 1, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd., the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down!]

Today's editorial was a cinch. All I had to do was copy & paste a magnificent letter written to the Minister of Police. Its writer forwarded it to me & said I could use it as I saw fit. It is self-contained & self-explanatory. I commend it for its content AND its style. It's simple enough for even its recipient to understand, & it takes no prisoners. I urge you all to write letters like this to members of the Molesworth Mafia:

Hi Mr Hawkins

I just heard you on the radio expressing how shocked you are that people use the Internet to pursue gambling in the "privacy of their homes". And how absolutely awful you think it is.

How shocking. Anything could happen. People might even have fun. And Helen would certainly want you to put a stop to that! After all, the only people allowed to have fun under a Labour government are criminals and state-tit-suckers.

God I'm sick of politicians. All you know how to do is legislate. Has it ever occurred to you how absolutely unnecessary you are? You create nothing --- except laws that crush and demoralise the best among us.

You contribute nothing --- except legislation that weighs down the productive with incomprehensible rules and regulations. You have NOTHING to offer. Nothing at all.

To paraphrase another productive individual who was as exasperated by the power-wielding maniacs of his own time and country as I am with you: "Go away!"

Stop attempting to tell me how to live my life. If I want to gamble on the Internet I will. I don't give a flying (expletive) what you think about it.

Although -- as you have the opportunity -- you might try to do something decent while you're still in office. Something that is actually related to the legitimate role of government.

You could give the police adequate funding.

Gasp! You might even tell them to stop persecuting ordinary people driving cars...and get the police to catch criminals again. I guess some re-training would be in order. But in the long run it would be worth it.

I won't hold my breath.

I've realized that your government has a hard time understanding what its role is. I know you haven't the faintest idea that defence, justice, and a police force are legitimate government functions.

But please do try to imagine why a properly-funded police force might be necessary. And not an optional extra. It's not a hard concept to grasp.

All you really need to do is keep foreign aggressors at bay, do the same to home-grown aggressors, and provide a means to settle disputes under law. After that ... you can go home.

To the writer of this letter, Wayne Davies, the Free Radical Award.

(FreeRad Award)

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