Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 16/07/2001

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Monday July 16, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd., the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down!]

I had intended for today's editorial to be about the latest racist scam, exposed by Rodney Hide, of witchdoctors being sent overseas at taxpayers' expense to perform mumbo-jumbo ceremonies at New Zealand Government buildings. Then I received the following e-mail from a lover of both rugby & freedom, Andrew Bates, about the Wallabies-Lions match on Saturday night. I didn't see the game, but I was so gripped by the description that I decided to run with this instead, & accede to its suggestion of an award:

"The Australian Wallabies were a team defeated in the first match who came back to win the series against a formidable opponent. That opponent, the British Lions, was big and bad - I have never seen such cheating and dirty play. Their captain Martin Johnston was the worst of them. With his hands in the rucks, his creeping offside in mauls and his knees to the heads of many Wallaby forwards, he narrowly edged out players like Neil Back with his headbutting George Gregan and elbow choking George Smith and Danny Grewcock with his flying knee to Nick Stiles's back.

"The Australians did not sink to their level though. The closest they came to dirty play was Daniel Herbert's desperate reaching out to scrag a ducking Brian O'Driscoll, ruled a high tackle, and the forwards' righteous "over-vigorous" rucking of an offside Neil Back.

"The forwards were tenacious toilers and were so quick to the breakdown, even if technically inferior, that the British backs were mostly starved. Young George Smith's ability to force turnovers was magnificent and they were ably lead by John Eales and fired up by George Gregan (a truly heroic tackler, to say the least). Their backs are still the world's best and were able to adapt from the angular running with which they carve up the All Blacks to a get-the-ball-wide-fast strategy to get around the Lions swarming defence.

"Make no mistake, the All Blacks will always be my team ... and I still hold romantic notions of playing for them despite doctor's orders to quit (which I have, for now) ... but the Wallabies well and truly deserve their World Champion status.

"In the movie The Shawshank Redemption Andy DuFresne wins his freedom with a never-say-die self-belief and an unswerving commitment to his principles. Shawshank Prison's chief guard and warden, a corrupt pair of bastards, to speak charitably, make money using the wrongly imprisoned Andy's financial skills, and keep him there by shooting a witness who might clear him. They wind up in prison and dead respectively.

"Tonight, Stadium Australia took Shawshank Prison's place. The unscrupulous Lions, a disgrace to themselves, their coach and British Rugby, must now go home as the first Lions side to lose to Australia, knowing that even when they cheated and did all they could to intimidate the Wallabies into ill-discipline, they still could not win.

"The Wallabies were magnificent, committed, tireless and disciplined and were deserving winners of the game and of the series.

"Surely, to the Australian Wallabies, the Free Radical Award!"

[FreeRad Award]

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