Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 26/10/2001

Music - Die Fledermaus

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show for Friday October 26, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit & excellence against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down!]

Months ago some wag posted a spoof on the Internet about an insidious toxic substance - colourless, odourless, tasteless - that kills uncounted thousands of people each year & ought to be banned.The substance was Dihydrogen monoxide. H2O. Water.

On the 2nd of this month, another wag recycled the story in the form of a letter to Green MP Sue Kedgley. "I seek your support in the international campaign to have Dihydrogen Monoxide banned in New Zealand," he wrote. "I have been totally frustrated in my attempts to have this issue taken seriously by the relevant public authorities, & seek your & the Green Party's support to have it addressed. Dihydrogen Monoxide is a chemical used in nuclear power stations, US Navy propulsion systems & many chemical industries. ... It is present in some imported foods. The chemical is commonly found in pre-cancerous cells & is prevalent in acid rain. In its solid state DHMO causes some tissue damage, in liquid form millions of deaths from overdose [drowning] & in gaseous form severe burns. ... The campaign to ban DHMO is well underway in the United States but is in its infancy in New Zealand. Award-winning scientists Nathan Zohner has undertaken research showing that 86% of the population supports a ban on DHMO. ..."

A week later Sue Kedgley's office e-mailed the following reply:

"Thanks for your e-mail regarding DHMO. I know Sue would be absolutely supportive of the campaign to ban this toxic substance in NZ. Unfortunately the reality is that she is working on many such issues, & there are only so many hours in the day! That being said, & taking into consideration her time constraints, did you have any ideas in mind on how she could be of assistance to the campaign?">


And bugger! The joker forwarded the reply to National MP Nick Smith, who made the exchange public with great glee. Dr Smith's own record in government as a tree-hugging property rights violator is abysmal, but on this occasion he was right on the button. "The Greens' support for a ban on Dihydrogen Monoxide shows just how scientifically illiterate the party is," he crowed, correctly. "They would ban anything if it has a slightly scientific name, regardless of the fact that all life would cease without water. ...This spoof pulled on the Greens is not indifferent [sic - he meant "dissimilar"] to that which they have pulled on New Zealanders in their campaign against gene technology. They have highlighted all of the dangers of gene technology but ignored the huge benefits the new technology can offer to mankind. The 31,000 diabetics who survive because of of GM-produced insulin is just one example. ..."

Not a lot I can add to that really.

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