The Politically Incorrect Show - 12/07/1999

Music - Die Fledermaus

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Monday July 12, proudly sponsored by Tuariki Tobacco Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

Music up, music down!

An emergency meeting of remaining members of the New Zealand First party executive is being held in a disused Tauranga law office, following massive defections to the Ku Klux Klan. The defections are being linked with the revelation on last night's 60 Minutes programme that the newly-formed New Zealand chapter of the Klan has launched a recruiting drive. Sources indicate that there has been huge dissatisfaction among grass roots supporters that party leader Winston Peters, contrary to his normal practice of pandering to the base prejudices of psychotics & misfits such as themselves, has apparently abandoned his hate campaign against Asian immigrants. It is further claimed that these supporters have ceased taking their medication as a gesture of protest, & have then signed up with the Ku Klux Klan in significant numbers.

The Klan itself, meanwhile, has dismissed suggestions that it will contest the upcoming general election. Spokesman Adolf Te Lion Red Henare-Montrose says the present National Socialist regime is serving as an exemplary role-model in the promotion of a Master Race, & to run against the National Socialist Party at this time would be inappropriate. "Ja, it is true zat some say zat zey haff chosen ze wrong race," says Mr Henare-Montrose, "but ve haff vays of communicating vis ze Fuehrer in Venezuela, unt he has instructed zat ze magnificent blonde brute of ze Tird Reich has become ze magnificent braun brute of ze Fourt Reich. Seig Heil!"

Mr Henare-Montrose is widely tipped to be a candidate for a knighthood in the next New Year's honours list for his support for the National Socialist government. Asked if it might be an embarrassment to the Governor-General, representing Her Majesty the Queen of England, to have to recite the words, "Arise, Sir Adolf," Prime Minister Jenny Shipley said, "It is my expectation that this will not be an issue that needs addressing. My National Socialist government has for some time been emulating the policies of the original National Socialist Party, & it's time we acknowledged our debt. Certainly it's true that there is room for improvement. Our Inland Revenue Department has displayed considerable & commendable skill in driving undesirable elements, such as who don't pay their dues to the Reich, to suicide, and, like Chancellor Hitler, we have created outcasts of cigarette smokers, but we have not yet eliminated anything like all dissent, opposition & non-conformity. It is my expectation that this issue will be addressed after the next general election - which, I need hardly add, will be our last. Seig Heil!"

For his part, the leader of the Association of Compulsion-Touters, Richard Prebble, is warning Mrs Shipley that ACT will not tolerate a blow-out of the government deficit because of the likely burgeoning of the gas bill. "Ve vill only approve Vote - Gas if zere are corresponding economies elsevere," says Mr Prebble. "Ve vill not countenance vaste unt inefficiency. Seig Heil!"

And news just to hand - remaining members of the New Zealand First executive are still awaiting the arrival of party leader Winston Peters at the disused law office in Tauranga. Deputy-leader Peter Browne is discounting rumours that Mr Peters was last seen boarding a one-way flight to North Korea with Helen Clark & Jim Anderton.