Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 02/09/1999

Music - Die Fledermaus

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Thursday September 2, proudly sponsored by Tuariki Tobacco Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

Music up, music down!

This day, September 2, 1999, is destined to be remembered as a day of infamy. Today it is my historic task to reveal a high-level political conspiracy with monumental implications for the future of our nation. The Politically Incorrect Show has obtained documentation of this shoddy machination, showing that all main parties have agreed to go into coalition after the election, leaving the country without a significant opposition voice to the government. Called the Public Good Coalition, it will be led by Helen Clark & Jenny Shipley as Prime Minister & Deputy respectively, with Jim Anderton as Treasurer, & Richard Prebble & Winston Peters designated "Associate-Treasurers."

Now on the face of it it seems to be a desperate move by National to retain some representation in government, which the other parties have bought into partly because of huge policy concessions by National and also because they're ALL guaranteed a place in government. What's going to happen is that, faced again with inconclusive results thanks to MMP, Mrs Shipley will declare a state of emergency & the formation of the afore-mentioned Public Good Coalition on the grounds that protracted inter-party negotiations as per last election cannot be countenanced on this occasion because of the approaching Y2K chaos. She will make a televised speech, appended to the documents I have here, on the need for unity & self-sacrifice for the sake of the community at this time of crisis. Then, in her own gesture of sacrifice, she will hand over the Prime Ministership to Helen Clark, who will anoint her as deputy & make a similar speech, citing the wartime coalition government of Peter Fraser as a precedent for multi-party coalitions during national emergencies. Measures to be implemented immediately include a nation-wide curfew after 6 o'clock, a wage & price freeze, & water, electricity & food rationing. One thousand army SWAT teams are to be set up around the country to police these.

Perhaps most startling, however, and clearly reflecting Mr Anderton's status as Treasurer-in-Waiting, is the introduction of a new tax regime called "Symmetrical Progressivity." Under this system, income tax will kick in at $10,000, at a rate of ten cents in the dollar. At $20,000 it will rise to 20 cents, at $30,000 to 30 cents, at $40,000 to 40 cents, at $50,000 to 50 cents and so on right through to incomes of $100,000 or more which will be taxed at a rate of 100%. The strategy behind this extraordinary move is made clear in the supplementary notes:

"Given the widespread public perception of politicians of all parties as self-seeking & cynical, it is likely that this power-sharing arrangement will engender significant & potentially dangerous popular unrest unless accompanied by another measure or measures assured of equally widespread support & acclamation. The Symmetrical Progressivity Income Tax System (SPITS) should prove to be just such a measure, tapping into New Zealanders' well-documented resentment of high income earners. It should have a decoy effect similar to that of the anti-nuclear policy during the economic reforms of the Fourth Labour Government."

So there you have it folks - the result of the next general election is already null & void; the power-lusters have already made their move; they're all going to keep their seats; you in effect have been disenfranchised. The question now is, will you let them get away with it? Would you be prepared to put up with a super-party dictatorship for the sake of hugely increased taxes on the rich?

You wouldn't, would you!

Would you?

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