Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 18/10/1999

Music - Die Fledermaus

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Monday October 18, proudly sponsored by Tuariki Tobacco Ltd, the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

Music up, music down!

The bossyboots were replete with steel spikes over the weekend as sundry politicians turned up - and sundry politicians didn't - for the ABC roadshow debates in Nelson & Greymouth. The Hard Labour candidate in Nelson provided the first indication of turbulence ahead when he approached Hooch Helen, seated at my table, & asked her to stop smoking her cigarette (a tobacco one), as the hotel had a no-smoking policy. We checked, & it turned out the hotel's policy was that whoever hired the room could determine whether smoking was allowed or not - in this case, of course, ABC. In the event, a compromise was agreed to whereby the smokers would repair to the back of the room by the open doorway for their combustions. But it wasn't the smoke, it was Mr Hard Labour's obnoxious officiousness that got up my nose, & I invited him to go do something fundamental to himself. He didn't do that, as far as I know, but he did walk out part way through my speech later in the evening. The Green's man, a caricature chardonnay-chic eco-socialist, had already promised the audience during his speech that he would walk out, not during mine, but before it. In the event, he didn't walk out at all.

The National Socialist candidate, one Dr Nick Smith, never even walked in; instead he sent a spy to observe proceedings & report back to Head Office. The Alliance Retards were also a no-show because, they said, it would be a waste of their time to talk about individual liberty & private property rights - which of course is completely true. For their part, the Compulsion-Touters furnished two candidates, one of whom, Richard Cox, created Act history by not wearing a suit. So impressed were we that we gave him a lift to Greymouth for the next evening's debate.

Now during the course of these roadshows we have encountered some extraordinary phenomena, but nothing could have prepared us for the Alliance Retard representative on Saturday night in Greymouth. Many in the audience were loggers, well acclimatised to the searing impact of chainsaws on their eardrums, but this woman's caterwauling was too much even for them. Her scatter-gun screeching in the service of statism sent the poor punters stampeding into the cold night air to escape the torture & salvage their hearing.

The New Zealand First candidate that night was a dry old stick who has been Mayor of Westport for one-hundred-and-five years and a member of New Zealand First for five days. He didn't seem too sure why he was the New Zealand First candidate, but it was obvious enough to the rest of us.

Well, you have to laugh, don't you? The thing is, though, some of these control-freaks are, or are going to be, in Parliament, where they'll contrive even more diabolical ways to stamp out even more of our freedoms - and that is not a laughing matter.

Politically Incorrect Show, beating the bastards back - 309 3099.

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