Lindsay Perigo
Lindsay Perigo

The Politically Incorrect Show - 09/12/1999

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Thursday December 9, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd., the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down!]

Last night I was pretty damn depressed, I don't mind admitting. That foul creature Peters confirmed in Tauranga, sundry anti-technology state-worshippers of the Green variety emerging from their caves to take THEIR places among the Beehive Bludgers - how it all confirmed that the sheeple of this country are exactly as I have depicted them on the cover of my magazine: dumber even than sheep, four-legged vegetables disqualified from classification as animals because of the complete absence of brains.

Then I perked up. My web master, David Adams, drew my attention to a web site he had just discovered called The Occasional. This is how it describes itself:

"The Occasional is a magazine for people with an independent interest in politics, books, arts, and culture. We are deeply interested in politics, but The Occasional will not focus on day-to-day political tussles or the horse-race aspect of campaigns. Instead, we will examine how deeper ideas drive the political world and actors in it. We uphold individual rights... personal and economic. We are opposed to compulsion and authoritarianism from all directions - Left, Center, and Right. Driving our cultural writing is the conviction that certain values - rationality, high culture, and individualism - are vital and universal, but in mortal danger."

Oh, how it quickened my heart, this reminder that there is intelligent life on this planet after all! A quick surf around the site, a resolve to go back at leisure & savour - & a copy & paste of this poem by Berton Braley (1882-1966) called Just Anti-Social for me to read to you. Braley, we are told, was "known for his brisk verse celebrating business, common sense, a can-do attitude, and a benevolent sense of life common to Americans in the early 20th century."

The reason I selected this was: Spin-Doctor Brayin' Oddwords. This entity, smile adviser to our new Prime Minister, was once arguing with me in favour of drastically raising taxes, as he is wont to do. I asked him what he would do if the productive whom he wanted to tax so heavily just said, "Stuff you!" and closed themselves down? "Oh," said Oddwords, "they'll never do that. They'll keep producing, regardless." And you know, the smug, cynical socialist scumbucket was right. But THIS poem, as it happens, captures the chip on his OTHER shoulder:

Just Anti-Social, by Berton Braley:

We've loaded him with a lot of taxes
And rules and codes-but there's something funny;
In spite of the way his burden waxes
The son-of-a-gun is making money!

Whenever he's given a boost to trade
We've taken an extra tribute off it,
But still the villain is undismayed,
The son-of-a-gun has shown a Profit!

We grind out daily a brand new grist
Of regulations by Profs. And scholars,
But the Rugged Individualist
Is still producing some surplus dollars!

We've frowned on personal, private gains,
As most immoral, and due for censure,
But the son-of-a-gun with Business Brains
Continues risking some new adventure!

In spite of Planners and New Deal sages
With Communistical dreams and yearnings,
This Capitalistic guy pays wages,
And SOME of his stocks and bonds show earnings!

We've moved the bases, and changed the lines,
And altered the rules for every inning,
With added penalties, doubled fines,
But the son-of-a-gun insists on winning!

It's anti-social to fail to fail,
It makes our wonderful schemes look funny;
Rush the Traitor at once to jail,
For the son-of-a-gun is making money!

Right now, to the people responsible, from the Politically Incorrect Show, the Free Radical Award.

[Play Free Radical Award]

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